BunnyPill

It has been literally forever since I've wrote in a journal.. So much as happened but im right back to where I was about a year ago... Wow... A year... Feels longer than that. I seriously don't know what to do,  im just lost. I can't get anything right anymore so i dont know why I keep trying...  The more I try to trust someone they just prove to me that, that isn't the case. The only person I can trust is just me. I'm just a messed up person. The only reason why I appear to be a b*tch is because either you pissed me off or I'm just not in a good mood. Which if you knew the situation i was in now you'd know how much pain i'm in...

It seems like every single time, I'm happy, I get reminded of the one thing i thought i could never live without... He moved on no problem... I'm still hung up on him, this feeling i have for him will never go away... As much as i want it to. I miss him telling me that he loves me so much, and that he wants to make me his wife, one day. He always made my heart skip a beat. Now my heart beat stutters, as it feeling like it's gonna eventually stop, and if it does then I won't have to feel this pain anymore.. :sobbing:

I may look like im laughing on the outside but on the inside im crying. I put a smile on my face so that way people t worry about me, if i acted the way i felt on the inside then I would peobably not be alive, sometimes i ask myself, "Who would miss you if you were gone?" Then I think of my little brother and sister :crying: What would they do if I was there one day then the next gone.....They're the real reason that im not dead. It would break my heart if i did die then my little sister at my bed trying to wake me up then me never opening my eyes, i don't want to do that to her. If would definitely hurt me if my little brother would come in